Last month Judy Stembel Thomas sent me the phone number of A.J. Stembel, the oldest son of her half-brother, Jan Stembel. Jan, now deceased, was Byron Stembel's oldest child. Judy was his second child.
Before I go any farther, let me set the stage, because both of the family members I'm about to introduce are similarly related to Byron Stembel. One is his grandson, the other is his step-granddaughter.
Byron Stembel (1915-1992) is a great-grandson of Theophilus Stembel, one of the early settlers in Benton County, Indiana. Byron - pictured here as he looked in 1938 - had three children with three different wives and four step-children from a fourth wife.
It was a real pleasure to talk to A.J. I've known of him and his two brothers from other relatives, but I had never actually met or talked to him before. A.J. told me his father had moved to Tennessee years ago where he worked as a civilian employee for the U.S. Air Force. In that position he worked on many secret projects in his career.
A.J. (or Adrian Jan) lives in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, as does his brother Brett. A third brother, Michael, lives in New York.
Given that A.J. is Byron Stembel's grandson, it was a real coincidence that just a few weeks later I received an email from Kim Harrington. Kim is Byron's step-granddaughter! She happened to find our Stembel Family History on the Internet and sent me an email. She wrote that she remembered her "Grandpa Stembel" fondly and offered to share information and some of her memories of Byron, or "Doc" as everyone called him.
I replied that I would love to know more about Byron, and Kim sent me a nice letter with all kind of information about her family.
So, let me introduce Kim Harrington, and thank her for contributing to our Stembel history.
Kim's grandmother, Maria Rupa, was born in Germany before WWII. Near the end of the war she met a GI named Charley Bane from Gibson City, Illinois. They fell in love and got married, and when Charley returned home he brought his bride back to Illinois with him. Over the next few years Maria gave birth to four children: three girls and a boy. Her children gave Maria a lot of pleasure but her marriage to Charles was rocky and eventually ended in divorce in the late 1960s.
After the divorce Maria remained in Gibson City. She worked as a waitress in a restaurant where Byron Stembel often ate. Maria thought he was nice and they started spending time together. They eventually got married in 1974.
By this time Maria's four children were grown. One of those children was Rose, Kim's mother. Rose was close to her mother so it was only natural that Kim and her cousins spent a lot of time with Maria and Doc. Those were years Kim remembers fondly.
Here are some of the memories she shared,
I think one of my best memories from when we were kids is that Grandpa had two antique playing pianos in their garage and we would always beg him to turn them on and he’d get out those paper rolls (he had dozens of them) and we’d sit at the piano and he’d stand there with us and we’d all sing those funny old songs… I think the one about red posies was our favorite. He also had a huge trunk of really old clothes and tiny shoes, that he said belonged to an aunt of his I believe it was, who was only about 4 feet tall or so. And he had lots old vintage jewelry to go with it so we could play dress up.
We all remember Doc as this very wise man who knew everything about everything. He treated my grandma very well and he was extremely kind to all of us grandkids (all together there were 8 of us). Back then we all lived close by and we always had the holidays together – Grandma and Doc and our family and my aunts and uncle and all their families. It was a great time. My mom and her family were all very close and we spent a lot of time at their house. Doc would even take all 5 of us older girls to his store sometimes and let us play there all day. I still love the smell of all that old dark antique furniture and still have a fondness for antiques today, I think because of that.
What a wonderful environment to grow up in, to have parents and grandparents who not only love you, but are kind and generous and enjoy having you around.
I enjoyed Kim's letter, reading of the wonderful time she had with Byron before his death in 1992. But as a family historian it presented me with a quandry, because this view of Byron is not shared by the children of his earlier marriages, and I feel it is only fair to them to mention the fact that their relationship with their father was not pleasant.
Judy Stembel Thomas, Byron's daughter writes,
Byron cut all ties with me after he left my mother. I was 3...Mother would call him once in awhile and make plans for me to visit with him because I asked. She would take me over to Gibson City to visit with him for an hour or so occasionally...He never instigated any visits and never sent cards or gifts or made calls.
But I sense she's not unhappy that Byron turned it around and learned to love. She also mentioned that Byron's mother died when he was a teenager and he went to live with his Aunt Edna [even though his father was still living], who had no children of her own. The death of his mother could have left Byron with some unresolved anger.
It's hard to know why people act the way they do, but generally adults mellow as they age (I have!). We learn whats important in life. I might add that Byron's third wife died suddenly while he was talking with her in the hospital (this information is from Kim). Maybe that had an affect on him. In any case, it sounds like he and Maria had a good marriage and he enjoyed his new grandkids.
Thank you Kim, for sharing your memories of Doc and thank you A.J. for sharing information about your Dad.
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